Siddity In The City

Fuck fuck fuckity fuck fuck shit.

Son of a bitch! It happened again! The cretins have outbred the intellectually able, and made their voices heard last night when they all loaded up in a fleet of short buses and bumbled into the polls, then pushed all the wrong pretty buttons and handed our nation over to one of their own developmentally stunted kind. Again. Son of a bitch! I. Don't. Under. Stand. Don't people want a leader who thinks about things, from all angles, before acting? Someone who continually evaluates the wisdom of the decisions made, and who acts accordingly to make adjustments, if need be? Don't they want someone smarter than they are? Someone skilled at diplomacy? Someone who can lead the world rather than alienate everyone else in it? Well no, actually, they don't. Apparently, they want someone who makes them feel all cuddly inside, someone they can relate to, someone just like them. Goddamn. Goddamn. I would like all of the following people to line up to my right. I've got to work in a few minutes, and I'd like to wrap this murderous rampage up quickly. Ahem: 1. Blue collar/poor Bush voters. Special dispensation for the lack of sleep you got working double shifts for $5.15 an hour with no overtime pay, lack of affordable nutritional food, and poor quality healthcare you've likely received (if any), all factors which surely impaired your judgement. You just get spanked. (See, I am a bleeding heart.) 2. Female Bush voters. It must be such a relief to you not to have to worry about little things like control over your own body, or equal wages, or anything hard like that. Since you seem so willing to give these things up, line right up and turn yourselves over to me. With all the "unborn children" you've "saved," the world is now, more than ever, in need of population control. Sacrifice yourselves. 3. Neocons. Traitors! Bastards! What happened to you all?!?! Irving Kristol once said that a neocon was a liberal mugged by reality. Well, bitches, get ready to be mugged in reality, by a bunch of angry-ass, disenfranchised folks. Like war vets who had their pay and benefits slashed, and who need to supplement their income. Or me. Sidenote: Major networks--PLEASE STOP GIVING DENNIS MILLER AIRTIME. HE IS NOT FUNNY. HE IS IRRITATING. 4. Minority Bush voters. I'm not going to throw any Uncle Tom accusations at you. You must have considered your position very carefully in order to take such an apparently insane stance. You must have had your reasons. I respect your desire to stand firm in your beliefs, be they anti-gay, anti-abortion Bible thumping conservatism, economic conservatism, or I-want-to-fit-into-the-old-boys'-network-complete-with-trophy-blonde conservatism. Whatever floats your goat's boat. But you, you I shall cripple, and let live--so that you can bear witness to the havoc you've wreaked, and watch your quality of life decline, and watch the quality of your children's lives decline, mwahahaha! In fact, first line up with the po' folks, so I can spank you, then get back in line for the cripplin'. More to come.

posted by Sid @ 11/03/2004 01:53:00 PM