Thursday, September 09, 2004

I think I have ADHD.

Seriously. As I type this, I have seven windows open on my computer desktop (nope, now it's eight), because I keep thinking up other things I need to research, read, buy, write, or do, right this minute, before I forget.

I tried to make breakfast this morning, but when I got to the kitchen I remembered I needed to put my laundry in the dryer (I was rather proud of myself for even getting the laundry into the machine, because I often start it, let the water fill, and then wander off before remembering to put in my clothes, and wander back when the machine stops, ready to load the dryer, wondering how in the hell I forgot to load the machine again). Then I decided it was absolutely imperative I research some social theory books to flesh out an article I was working on, so I Googled some things, and then immediately got up because I remembered I had never put the water on to boil for coffee, which I did, and then I decided I needed to put the coffee in the french press right away. Unfortunately, I had also started heating a frying pan for eggs (it seemed really important that I turn on the other burner when I turned on the coffee water because I just knew that if I turned it on, I wouldn't forget to put the eggs in. I forgot. But only for a few minutes, while I was tying up the trash). I got breakfast together, but decided I had to unload the dryer immediately after I ate so I could dry the other load that I had started sometime between load one and breakfast. All this was going on, I should point out, while I was supposed to have been editing an article due, oh, a year ago. Seriously. I'm not kidding about that. It was due a year ago. Incidentally, I finished the article due a year ago, but abandoned the one I began with, probably for good.

And that was just this morning. There would be more from the afternoon, but I took a nap.

Anyway, I know that, since the NYT Magazine article last month, everybody thinks they have an attention deficit disorder, because the article described such common behaviors. At least I think it did, according to what somebody told me. I never finished reading it.

I don't even think I have adult ADHD. I think I have the kids' kind. Which I know is impossible, but honestly I think if any adult had kids' ADD, it would be me.

The thing is, unlike many other minor head-cases these days , I have no desire whatsoever to medicate (which I think might actually tip me over into the major head-case category, because they never want meds), because, despite the fact that I obviously have problems, I rather like my life and am genuinely afraid that medication would make me perhaps more productive, but intensely boring (to myself. I'm probably already boring the hell out of everybody else). I mean, I'm productive enough in my job now, my efforts just sort of stretch out around the clock rather than being concentrated in 8 hour bursts (and thank god I found a job that accomodates that, yeesh. Before this gig things were ugly, veeeerrrrrrryyyy ugly.) So I don't know what to do. My happy Texas friend suggests I do meditation exercises, but I just know I won't be able to sit through 'em.



At 9/10/2004 07:07:00 AM, Blogger deborah said...

Oh Boy - you just described my whole life girl! I was giggling to myself cause I do that with the washing machine allll the time. Now I use the cheaper laundry detergent cause it was getting expensive just washing... water. LOL. And as for the article due last year... I am procrastination queen... and I also love being overloaded with things due. Its hectic. People think I am crazy. I just know I'm 'special'!

Where is this article btw? I can add it to the pile of things I must read!

At 9/10/2004 10:17:00 PM, Blogger Sid said...

I am so glad I'm not the only one who does that. I get the cheap detergent all the time, too, but I just do it 'cause I'm cheap :)

The article ran a year ago in The Daily Free Press, and was about a Boston-based community group, so I doubt you'd be interested! I was just touching it up and expanding it for a thesis requirement. 'Sdone. I'm officially a Master! Yay!


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