Siddity In The City

Odds and ends and then some

1. God damn I love this album. It's so catchy--"Totemo catchy, catchy catchy catchy!" Which is a line from a song on one of my other favorite albums. Maybe my lucky number is five or there is some significance or resonance with fives or something. 2. Dear fellas, If you are the type of guy who is too shy to ever approach girls sober, please, please, PLEASE don't think getting drunk and approaching us is a good idea. All that happens is that the base, lecherous, icky instincts you hide under a good guy veneer come spurting out in an unwelcome gush at anything with below-the-collar hair, and you start saying crazy shit like "Ijeswanyoudaknow, I think you are eight sexy ladies, the eight sexiest ladies in the world!" in a skeevy drunk slurry voice to four chicks of various hues who don't dig you, a little punk boy named Phil, and a tall bald brother named Moses. Which, by the way, only adds up to six, hon. --Sid 3. Dear friends of fellas, If you know your boy acts like this when he gets drunk (and you do know, don't you? I mean, everybody knows this guy, and you know which one of your friends this guy is, and if you don't, it's you), and he has clearly been absotively shitty-drunk for the last three hours, cut him off and take his ass home. Or at least keep an eye on him so he doesn't go around hitting on everything in the bar, and doesn't fucking wander off into the cold night, drunk off his nut, coatless, and convinced he's a really sweet guy, wondering why don't girls ever dig him. Okay? Just get him a cab, a coffee and something fatty, then drop him off. You can play after you tuck him in. --Sid 4. Robert Palmer was kinda the shit, huh? "Now I told you twice, I was only trying to be nice, doo doo doo doo doo doooo baby, I didn't mean to turn you ooooooon..." That song never gets old. **How in the hell did nobody notice I had written Robert Plant instead of Robert Palmer?** 5. Anybody else ever wake up after a night of reasonable drinking, totally sober, then go get something innocent, like, oh, WATER, and suddenly get drunk again? WTF is that all about man? 6. Urban Outfitters really wants "krunk" to be the new "bling." God help us. Can we all just agree that, once a trendmonkey shop like Urban slaps "the lingo" on anything that won't get up and run screaming in the opposite direction, for marketing to 13-year-olds in Bayonne and twenty-something hipsters in Park Slope, said "lingo" is officially 13.75 months past "over," can we, please? And also, could someone please send Urban a fucking memo saying something along the lines of: From: Black America, and other trend-birthing types To: Urban executives and Trendmonkey buyers Re: Hijacking and mass promotion of already lame-ass slang Whatever you have just decided is the new hotness, the new shit--the thing that just er'rybody needs to have slapped across their chests, asses, toes, bedsheets, lithographs, coffetable notebooks and trucker caps--whatever it is, you're wrong. It's over. Save yourselves some trouble and us some money. Fire your trendmonkey team. With the money you save in salaries, you could undoubtedly lower the cost of your cheaply made thriftstore knockoff clothes by a good 25%. Thx. 6. Citibank is giving away iPod minis. If you open a regular checking account online using their EZ Checking account package, with a minimum deposit of $2,500, and pay at least two bills online in the first three months of opening the account, and your account remains in good standing, they'll give you an iPod mini, which is one hell of an account-opening perk. All I got when I opened my bank account last lear was a travel mug, dammit. Click the link and enter CD19 in the offer code box. 7. I got all my birthday goodies! Including my Shure E2cs, which sound great, even though they are still too big for my ears. I wonder if they make extra small foam covers... 8. Dinner with Maryann at Spice Market Friday. Spice Market was great, more later, and sorry Maryann, it looks as though I sped off into the night with your monkfish. My bad. IOU. 9. Purlie Victorious will be running somewhere in the city this spring in Ossie Davis's honor. Anybody up for a group outing? Details to come... Um, that is all for now.

posted by Sid @ 2/04/2005 03:00:00 PM