Siddity In The City: Sid's 12 (minus 7) Step Guide to Happiness.

Thursday, April 28, 2005

Sid's 12 (minus 7) Step Guide to Happiness.

Step 1: Are you unhappy? Figure out why. Step 2: Figured it out? Good. Now, figure out how much of it is your own damn fault. I'll wait. *whistling* Okay, yes, it's a lot. Calm down. Step 3: Shotty. Whatever you've got on hand. Trust me, if you're doing this right, you should be pretty worked up over how much of it is your fault. But listen: Just the one shot, okay? No more. With more shots you cross into "additional problems" territory. Step 4: This one is harder than it sounds. What isn't your fault, you have to let not be your fault. Even if you have been an outrageous, unconscionable, unmitigated asshole, the relative frequency of muhfuggin' assholish behavior of people in general means it's highly likely some of the bitches you are dealing with have been assholes, too. Own your shit. Let them keep theirs. Step 5: Fix what you can. What you can't fix, let go. Preferably while you are several hundred miles away in a five-star hotel taking delivery of room service from an unusually intelligent, funny and attractive bellhop who just happens to really be an undercover CIA agent playboy- type, undercoverly defending a visiting dignitary. Er, or something. Whatever, work out your own fantasy for that bit.