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Wednesday, October 12, 2005

I lurve Tuesday.

Some days just turn out right nice, you know. Today, I got a $200 check just for going to the gym, found the jacket of life for me to love at Filene's Basement for $50, downloaded the Eagles of Death Metal album Peace Love Death Metal and a Tricky album, and saw a funny movie about streetfighting hobbits. The jacket--a green, fitted, velvet number--is this week's Death by Sexy. That thing fits me absolutely perfectly, and looks hot as shit on. In the way that it makes my middle look tiny and my top look hugemongous and what shows of my bottom perfectly rounded, not in the way that I look sweaty. Loves it. I've been hunting for a good velvet jacket for a few years now. Mission accomplished. The check is going skraight into my savings account, and thank the Lord for it, amen and hallelujah. Now, about EoDM. That is one fun-ass, good-time album. I've had it for, oh, 7 hours, and have listened to it maybe five times, and let me just say that Jesse Hughes is one sick, hilarious motherfucker. First of all, he looks all tough as shit (okay, not actually tough, but good and trashy as Ding notes) but he has this high little lady voice that sounds so...like he works in a video store. Second of all, he claims to have only learned guitar three months before making this album, which took about a week to record, and it shows. And yet, it doesn't suck. It sounds like a lot of friends having a damn fine time in somebody's garage. Which brings me to number three, the lyrics. Don't listen to this album for the first time in public, because you will start to giggle and twitch like a madwoman when you hear lyrical gems like the following: "You'll speak in tongues now, baby let me demonstrate: moo moo moo moo moo moo moo, ho..." (from "Speak in Tongues") "I'm here right now, I want to be your monkey, I'm here right now, I want to love your monkey!" (Bad Dream Mama) "Who loves the devil who'll sing his song who will love the devil and his song? I love the devil, I'll sing his song, I will love the devil and his song. Who loves the devil, who'll kiss his tongue? Who will kiss the devil on his tongue? I love the devil, I'll kiss his tongue, I will kiss the devil on his tongue." (Kiss the Devil) "Struttin' sluts all through that whorehoppin' scene Make me say: Shit, goddamn! I'm a man, I'm a man!" (Whorehoppin') (except he's got this high, reedy little voice. Hilarious.) But it's all crazy booty-shakin' rock. It makes me want to throw a party with Natty Light and yellow-cheez popcorn and Everclear Jello shots and Lucky Strikes on somebody's front lawn. Except, I'd probably be shot on sight by anybody who'd actually go to that party. Merde. And Tricky is...Tricky. You almost can't go wrong. At the end of the night, I went to see Green Street Hooligans. See, GSH is a film about an American boy who gets kicked out of Harvard over some shit his roommate did, visits London to see his long lost sister, gets involved with his brother-in-law's hooligan brother, and joins his footie hooligan gang. Not the worst premise for a film ever. I mean, interesting enough for me to cough up a tenner to see it, right? Except, the kid is played by Frodo. Elijah Wood. And despite his sicko turn in Sin City, I can't see hooligan-Frodo. Seriously. With his big blue saucer-eyes and abashed grin? Just...no. See, I don't know if you're aware, but the Brits, the ones inclined toward hooliganism? Scary as fuck. As fuck. Like, if I had to choose between a Crip and a drunken, rowdy hooligan, I'm taking my chances with the Crip, because at least then it'll be over cap-in-ass-fast. And they're marked, too. You know which one is the Crip. Those wacky Brits? Not. So. Much. Scariest shit I've ever seen? 3 A.M., streets of London, waiting for a night bus, post-club crowd. Shouts approaching from down the street. A punk kid and a chubby, middle-aged suit trading insults over a girl. Fight starts. Suit kicks the holy-rolling motherfuck out of punk. Like, jumping on his head, screaming, fucked up fighting. I have never seen shit like that before or since, and don't wanna, thankyouverymuch. Which is all to say, Frodo just does not seem the type to earn his stripes with that kind of crowd in a day. He's so leetle. And baby-faced. And Frodo. Still, even that was rather an enjoyable part of the day. Except for the small gang of Europeans who sat behind me, talking their crazy Euro language, loudly, through the first ten minutes of the movie. I did wish they'd shut the hell up. Eventually, they did. Note to self: Avoid theaters near universities, wherein lie the world's most insufferable human beings, university students. Er, that's kinda all. Wow, that was longer than I'd intended, though.

6 Comments:

At 10/12/2005 01:11:00 PM, Blogger divine m said...

You TOTALLY wanna see some more of that fucked-up fighting. Like every single day, cuz I know you, and that shit turns you on. You can't fool me. . . .

You are totally hilarious, by the way, as if my daily laughing-so-hard-i-cry-and have-a-coughing-fit on the phone hasn't already expressed this fact.

Can't wait to see you dancing to your new silly, rockin' songs in that velvet number, hot stuff.

 
At 10/12/2005 01:53:00 PM, Blogger K. said...

Whee! Another convert to the Good News of Peace, Love and Death Metal. Glad you like it!

Still have to see Green Street Hooligans, I have a friend who says its basically Boyz N the Hood with white people in Britain. I dunno if I can trust that assesment, tho.

 
At 10/12/2005 05:44:00 PM, Anonymous Ms. Berry said...

Ok, so now you HAVE to get the sexy green bag to go with sexy green jacket. :-) Evil grin >:-)

 
At 10/12/2005 07:15:00 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

Madame Berry, while I would love to get that bag, and I did just get a $200 rebate for regular gymmage, I am going to be a good girl and not get it unless it dips below $200. Er, okay, below $150. Which I know will never happen. So if anybody sees a nice knock-off, let a sister know!

sid

 
At 10/12/2005 09:26:00 PM, Blogger Death said...

I fuckin love your head, and most likely the rest of you too. :)

 
At 10/13/2005 04:00:00 PM, Blogger Sid said...

thanks mr. d! But having seen the ladies you fancy, i am pretty much positive the rest of me ain't up to your scratch, lol.

 

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