Sunday, November 20, 2005

Mmm, mmm good my ass!

So, Wednesday I leave for Whorin', Brawlin' and Drinkin' (TM) in San Francisco with M and Mr. C. Now, I always go a little batshit before a vacation, because I feel like that's the time to a) lose five pounds; b) suddenly turn all super-saver-no-takeout; and c) get myself into fighting* shape for the fuckery (Shasta, 2005) to come. I've largely been on a diner-food-and-beer diet for the past two weeks thanks to DP's visit, but I've shockingly pretty much managed the first and unsurprisingly mastered the second. Of course, I've failed miserably at that middle thingum. So I'm taking the next three days to atone for my weakness. Today, for instance, I had a can of Campbell's Chicken Noodle Soup for dinner. Cheap, and only 150 calories per can! Now, I feel the need to point out that the only reason I even have this stuff is because my parents view visits to my place as a sort of pantry-cleaning opportunity, and thus come with unwanted canned and dry goods in tow (I'd pretend to be offended, since this seems to assume I am still facing the sort of undergrad/grad desperation that had me eating past sell-by date foods from a place called Building 19 3/4, but, frankly, sometimes a girl just cannot be assed to go grocery shopping, and that's cause enough for desperation when she gets hungry, mmkay?). Duly noted? Good. I haven't had Campbell's chicken soup in years. Seriously. But I remember eating it with PB&J sammiches as a kid and loving it, so I looked forward to this evening's menu with a bit of nostalgic excitement. And hunger. Mostly hunger, because I got off work really late, but whatever. When I got home, I popped open a can, plopped the congealed mass of noodle-spooge into a pot, added some water and heated the stuff up. Ladled it into a bowl, sat myself down, raised spoon to lips, and took a hearty slurp. You know what? Campbell's chicken noodle soup is goddamn disgusting! How could my memory have so failed me?!?! Why has no one spoken out against it? The LIES! Oh my god, and just try washing it down with already disgusting 151 and Diet Coke, okay?** It's a nastacular in your mouth! Goddamn. But I ate it all. And I'm not going grocery shopping before my trip. So tomorrow: cream of mushroom with cucumber-basil vodka infusion and, uh, water? Oh, maybe I can put the infusion in the soup.... Jesus, this trip is going to put me off eating and drinking altogether, and I haven't even left yet. *And by "fighting...for fuckery," I mean "drinking, table-dancing and rigorous denial to follow." ** See "shape, fighting" and subsequent notes. It's all in the preparation, man.


At 11/20/2005 06:15:00 AM, Blogger deborah said...

LOL. God you are funny... but aaah the soup aint! Even grilled cheese sammiches are a better alternative.

I still think about the greasy burger I had when I turned up at your place at 10 or something... god that hit the right spot!

At 11/20/2005 10:50:00 AM, Blogger divine m said...

I had the same bright idea to crash diet in the three days before the trip . . . these moments of mutually occuring "genius" are why we cannot go a day without talking. Hearing it from each other elucidates the grand stupidity of most of our disasterous dieting schemes.

Why can't we just remember not to eat things that don't taste good?

At 11/20/2005 11:51:00 AM, Blogger Viv said...

I think that I had the same realizations of Campbell's Chicken Noodle Soup one day also. It's amazing how the rosy glow of childhood can fuck with your reality. The tin-can smell and taste still haunt me now and I haven't eaten that soup in YEARS.

Anyways, if you're looking for good chicken noodle soup that's cheap, might I recommend Mrs. Grass (It's not Mary Jane -- trust me). That's where I get some good childhood memories because my dad would always make it for special occasions like Thanksgiving and Christmas.

Yes, my dad was cheap. Kinda like Ice Cube's Dad in Friday cheap.

At 11/21/2005 01:03:00 AM, Blogger Dragonslayer said...

You need to graduate from Chicken and Noodles to Chicken and Stars. Mmmmmmm....stars.

That said I got a ton of soup in the cabinet that I only use for recipes but never eat by it's dammie.

At 11/21/2005 06:23:00 AM, Blogger FUNKYBROWNCHICK said...

Oh, when I was a little girl, we chowed down on some Campbells soup!! :)

I can't remember the name of the brand, but there's a canned soup that comes with a red label and that's the only one that I eat now. All of the rest of teh canned soups taste like flavored water to me.

At 11/21/2005 12:17:00 PM, Blogger K. said...

I used to love Campbells. Then, at some point when I was in high school, my house became a Chunky house and we never turned back.

Enjoy San Fran, and check out the Sanrio store there, it's wonderful!

At 11/21/2005 06:14:00 PM, Blogger Baby Girl said...

If I do Campbells it's gotta be CHUNKY!!!

Have a great time in SF.

At 11/21/2005 11:35:00 PM, Blogger Berry said...

Enjoy my home town...and be sure to carry a jacket, sweater, something for your arms (LOL!) no matter how warm it is during the day. Them temps drop fast when the fog rolls in. Enjoy!


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