Siddity In The City

God Damn the Internets.

So ma mere has a wee bit of le boeuf with mon pere (a la the lovely and talented Ms. Golden, re:The Sperm Donor). Ma mere seems to really, really love to work herself up into a good frothy rage whenever she's got a spare minute, you see. She had a spare minute. She Googled mon pere. She sent me the results. Now, you may know from past MF-related posts that we have issues, he and I. Basically, as regards him, I'm done. Not mad, not curious, just done. So when I got the Google info from my mama, I was tempted to ignore it, or at least not follow any of the links. Two were just links to some educational board of directors he serves on, with his complete current contact info right there in the link description. Blah bloody blah. (I've officially gotten to the age where I might soon reasonably be expected to support his old ass, so you better believe I'm not tracking him down now, lol. Though I do now officially know what year he graduated from Fucked-Up Black Men University, I didn't know that before.) But one was a link to an ancestry/family-tree site (or so it seemed) and while I could care less about MF, I have been thinking about doing a family tree for a while now. So I clicked. This is what I learned: 1. Contrary to family assertions, a goodly chunk of my father's people are from the South, just like my mama's! As far as I could see, only one (okay, maybe two) folks were West Indian. And apparently not even from where I thought. I was thinking Jamaica. Try St. Kitts. WTFE. Of course, my paternal grandmother's information wasn't listed, so maybe the assertions were about her, but again, WTFE. 2. I remember very few things from my early childhood, but one of them is my really rather nice step-mother, who was married to MF by the time I was three or four and divorced from him before I hit puberty. And yet, that family tree puts TWO marriages between my mother and step-mother. Um. Saywhatnow? I mean, there wouldn't even be any reason to list said relationships unless there were offspring, which clearly there was with my mother, and yes, there were as well with my step-mother. Now, I know those fine children, and I just met another sibling from one of his relationships after the step-mother. So do I have at least two siblings I've never even HEARD of? That is some bullshit right there. And I mean, damn, two in what, three years? Negro, KEEP YOUR PANTS ON. 3. As it turns out, the whole site was the creation of a relative who was a member of a once-popular pop band, and its purpose was to establish and display our family's descent from a figure only known to scholars of black history, religion and the South. And to maybe talk up his own illustrious music career. Um. While a little odd, not so bad as the revelation that the whole reason said relative lived with me and MF and my step-mother when I was little was BECAUSE HE HAD BEEN ORDERED TO DO SO BY THE JUDGE WHO HEARD HIS FUCKING JUVENILE CRIMINAL CASE. So, yep, I love him and he's great now and all, but I SPENT CHUNKS OF MY YOUTH BEING BABYSAT BY A CRIMINAL?!?!?!! ARE YOU SHITTING ME?!?!? That's it. I'm giving up my blog-moniker. Just call me Humility in the City. Or Careful, My People Might Rob You in the City. Or Fuck Me, I Could Have a Million Man March with my Siblings Alone in the City. *hanging head* I've got to tell my mother to stop sharing.

posted by Sid @ 1/15/2006 05:22:00 PM