src="http://openmind.clemish.com/webbands/diversity_rb1_right.js">

Tuesday, July 11, 2006

Match.com: Endless hours of entertainment.

And by "entertainment," I mean "JesusfuckingchristIshouldjoinaconvent."

The "About Me and What I'm Looking For" section, in its entirety, of a mid-thirties fellow in Amsterdam.

"I am a nice, well dressed guy looking for a nice coloured girl from anywhere in the world. Somebody with the same interest, TRAVELING. I speak, besides my native language dutch, also english and spanish. "

Oh great. That narrows it down to about...lessee...12% of the world's population is white, so 88% is "coloured" and assuming half are female (I know, it actually isn't half, but let's pretend) that narrows it down to roughly 44% of the world.... What's the other criterion? Oh yes, "nice." Gah. Screw it.

My lord. I think he left out a line. Maybe it was supposed to read "...a nice coloured girl from anywhere in the world...for me to POOP ON!" Or, "...to file my taxes!" Maybe, "to act as my prop in an elaborate sexual fantasy of colonization and be treated with indignity. A variety of authentic ethnic costumes provided."

Sigh.

I need to make something with french horn mushrooms. I was thinking a champignon consomme but I am lacking vegetables for mirepoix, bones for stock, and a skimmer of appropriately fine weave. All I have is the mushrooms.

I'll order in.

8 Comments:

At 7/11/2006 07:02:00 PM, Blogger FUNKYBROWNCHICK said...

He sounds like a LOSER!!!

As a general rule, I kind of try to stay far away from those guys who *only* date women of a certain ethnicity. It kind of creeps me out a little bit.

Then again, I guess I should out myself as a total hypocrite because I tend to go through "stages", too. I once dated *ONLY* Latin men for almost an entire year. But, it's not something planned; it just kind of happened ...

 
At 7/11/2006 08:14:00 PM, Blogger dayna said...

hysterical,

I was on Match.com and had to hide my profile and cancel my subscription, because I left myself open for FOOLS of all SORTS to wink and e-mail and reach out to me. I don't know where some men gather the nerve. I guess from some women who can be bought. And me with my locs and dark brown complexion attracted just those types....I'm a french man, currently seperating from my wife looking for....."any black woman who would have him" basically. Less than flattered. And definitely creeped out. And that's just one example. Old stinky guys and young dirty guys....ewwwwwww!!!

 
At 7/11/2006 08:36:00 PM, Blogger Mary said...

Lose the loser. *snicker*

Um, my head just exploded from all the kitchen utensils you know by name, never mind don't have. I'm ordering out, too. R thanks you.

 
At 7/11/2006 08:37:00 PM, Blogger Mary said...

And what the F are French Horn mushrooms? I bought Baby Bellas yesterday and thought I was the height of sophistication.

 
At 7/12/2006 01:16:00 AM, Blogger deborah said...

or he could just join flickr.

 
At 7/12/2006 02:13:00 PM, Blogger divine m said...

Oh darling, how do you do it? You make me laugh and want to cry at the same time. Damn you're good. I miss you like crazy.

Avoid the Dutch. Avoid the Dutch. Avoid the Dutch.

 
At 7/22/2006 12:59:00 AM, Blogger ding said...

the dutch invented apartheid. and some offensive christmas elf called Black Pete. avoid them.

i just posted messages sent me on myspace. it's bad all over, girl.

 
At 7/23/2006 07:12:00 PM, Blogger maryann said...

oh, good lord, i love this line:

Maybe, "to act as my prop in an elaborate sexual fantasy of colonization and be treated with indignity. A variety of authentic ethnic costumes provided."

goodness, you silly.

...and i'm sorry about the missed connection last weekend. i got out of work late. but i should have called you at least. :-/

thinking of a fall trip to chicago. mayhaps we can coordinate that?

 

Post a Comment

<< Home