Tuesday, March 08, 2005

Beat-downs, synchronicity, haikus, yogurt.

I am rereading Fight Club, because I love it so. One of the things I love in this book, or about this book, is the character development of the protagonist. The details, man, the details of his character, make him someone I want to know. Besides wanting to get a dog to name it Entourage, which is totally something I would do (I don't say "totally" nearly as much as I write it, but I more than make up for that fact by infusing it with a totally ironic, irritating nasal Northeast-private-college-grad twang) , he writes little fucked up haikus throughout the story in order to "get centered": "Raindrops on roses Happy Disney Animals This makes my parts hurt" he thinks, while opening a freezer he knows is liable to be filled with frozen po-po testes and bags of human fat stolen from lipo clinics. Another gem, this one thought up while he's dealing with the woman he believes is jeopardizing his most important relationship: "A tiger can smile A snake will say it loves you Lies make us evil" Oh hell, here's perhaps my favorite passage from the book, the book which you should all run out and buy right now: "My boss sends me home because of all the dried blood on my pants, and I am overjoyed. The hole punched through my cheek doesn't ever heal. I'm going to work, and my punched-out eye sockets are two swollen-up black bagels around the little piss holes I have left to see through. Until today, it really pissed me off that I'd become this totally centered Zen Master and nobody had noticed. Still, I'm doing the little FAX thing. I write little HAIKU things and FAX them around to everyone. When I pass people in the hall at work, I get totally ZEN right in everyone's hostile little FACE." (first page of chapter 8, Fight Club, Chuck Palahniuk. I'm not playing. Buy this book. There are very few books I read once and want to read again, even when I like them. If you don't feel centered and zen and perspectivificated after reading it, well, you crazy.) Okay, it's not my favorite favorite, but that passage to me is so funny and so insightful... Wait. I've gotten way the hell off topic. My point here was synchronicity, specifically haiku synchronicity. After reading a bit of the book today, I thought, haikus are a good idea. You know, just like that. Haikus are a good idea. I should start my morning journaling off with haikus from now on. (What, you didn't think this was it, did you? Ha! Y'all can't handle alla my issues! Mwahahah-okay, mostly my issues are even more boring than this. Onward.) And, just for kicks, while I was stuck in a cab, I made up haikus from the east side to the westside through rush hour traffic. It helped to pass the time. And then, while surfing the blogosphere, I found a nifty quote linking to a blog entry via PurfiktGurl over on--drumroll--Haiku_Girl! (Maybe you should check them both out, because they're both pretty cool, and PG has good taste in underpants. Um, I only saw them in a picture online. Oh, and she wasn't in 'em. Swear.) Oh, frig. What was the point again? Oh yes. So, from now on, Tuesday is haiku day at Siddity in the City. Until further notice, because that could get old right quick. Feel free to make up your own Tuesday haiku. Post them here, in comments, or email or FAX them around, HAIKUS right in everyone's blog-reading-at-work, non-productive, "hostile little FACE." Haikus are good. Not necessarily high-art-like-The-Gates good, or wind-in-your-hair good, or favorite-song-on-the-radio good, or even killing-those-two-yogurt-commercial-bitches-by-drowning-them-in-a-tub-of-lukewarm-narsty-artificially-sweetened-yogurt-product good*, but good, nonetheless. So here is my first Tuesday haiku. I may stop at this, or post more throughout the day. Fight Club book is good Yoplait bitches should die slow Better off, the world *Oh my fuggin' gahd (I am trying to cut back on cussing, okay?) I have wanted to watch those two yogurt-grubbing bitches bite it ever since I saw the first "This is good" commercial. Besides the fact that they are two of the most irritating characters ever invented by Madison Avenue, ever, they are fucking lying. (Dammit. I cussed. Wait...three times!) That yogurt? Not that good. Know what really is good? This yogurt. Divine. Fo' rizzy.


At 3/08/2005 12:33:00 PM, Blogger K. said...

Man, I hate those yogurt bitches. Every time I see those commercials I think "Jesus Christ, Yoplait!!?? They don't get out much."

At 3/08/2005 11:57:00 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

ooh... i'm gonna have to pick the book up. i've seen the movie, which was awesome - but the book is always better!

to the store i go
obtaining the book to read
and i will relish

(takes me back to 4th grade, when we studied Haiku's)

At 3/09/2005 08:06:00 PM, Blogger Viv said...

I never read Fight Club, but I'm still a Pahulanik (yes, I can't spell) fan. Read Survivor. There's something wonderful in that one too.


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