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Thursday, March 03, 2005

Style Roundup

Sometime last week I picked up the latest issue of Bust, and I just got around to reading it last night. I came away from the experience with two realizations: 1. I am, in some ways, an unbelievable prude. As in, no, Bust, I really, really, really do not want to know what your assistant editor thinks of the glass corkscrew dildos. Or any other sex toys for that matter. Especially since all the reviews seem to be written in the very personal first person. "I really enjoyed when...I had to clench my..." Aw. Eeew. Blech. I don't wanna be thinking about that! And yet, in other ways, I feel like "Me? A prude? Ha!" Not so much (See "ebooks by genre," genres 1, 5, 8 and 9). Cock! See, I wrote "cock!" I can't be a prude if I can write "cock!" 2. Buy Bust for the articles and to support lady-based indie media, love Bust for the advertising back pages! Holy shit, it's a wonderland! Lookie what I found there: Teeny Tiny purses at Bolsa Bonita. A lot of the bags on this site feature pom-pom trim. Thank god the Teeny Tinies don't. They're actually really cute. Click around the site a bit to find a criminal line-up featuring several of Loaf's male relatives and, even more randomly, squirrels. The small handle bags are cute, too, in a hipsterish sort of way. Just keep it to a minimum. One hipster product per outfit should keep you safe from the trainwreck-tragedy that is hipsterdom. Hipster Cock! Barware at Barflyglass.com. I'm not crazy about everything there, but I had to order the spider shotty as soon as I saw it. When it arrives, I'll be spending a lot of time in my kitchen trying to concoct a shooter worthy of this glass in terms of both coolness and danger. I'm thinking something ridiculous, like 151 with a float of Chambord...or frigging genuine absinthe, for which I'd need to leave the country...but I need a vacation, anyway. And speaking of drunken debauchery, The "Friends by choice, drunks by necessity" cards, which I must order to send to all my friends as friendlove letters, at Lush Box. More cool stuff sprinkled around the site. I only wish I could get the cards with customized photos. Of course, I could always just go to Kinkos with pictures of me and my friends, Lush Box be damned...I have to check on their copyright. But give it a look-see. St. Paddy's is fast approaching. Beauty Plus Power. Yesssss! Yessss! Yesss! All the hot stuff for my plump rump in one place! Also, there were lots of ads for places to order friends of Victor and Ike. But, you know, I would never list something like that here. This is not that kind of blog. Cock! I swear, that got funnier every single time I wrote it. There is something so wrong with me. Sorry mama, they all know you tried.

5 Comments:

At 3/04/2005 09:28:00 AM, Blogger Jazz said...

I love BUST Magazine. You have got to check out www.disgruntledhousewife.com

 
At 3/04/2005 11:27:00 AM, Blogger K. said...

You're not the only one slightly squicked by BUST's highly revelatory nature. But I'm not a real fan of the "women's-magazine-editor-as-your-best -girlfriend" style of writing that's so popular nowadays either. There is such a thing as too much information, I don't need to know that much about the editors of the magazines I read.

 
At 3/04/2005 12:44:00 PM, Blogger Mary said...

Why must my computer act like such a bitch today? WHY? I want to see the cool yet dangerous shot glass!

I'll try again later. You always find such fun stuff, Sid.

I'm laughing about Ike. HA! We know you tried Mama Siddity!

 
At 3/04/2005 03:09:00 PM, Blogger K. said...

You can have all the absinthe you want rightin the good ole US of A as long as you don't buy it here...http://www.greenfairy.org/

You can thank me later *hic*

 
At 3/07/2005 04:32:00 PM, Blogger maryann said...

i heart bust. most of the articles are not about inane topics like 567 ways to please your man or what your man's really thinking...
and i like that they're open about sexuality...plus, the fact that she's writing in first person is ahem, a first person recommendation, if you were so inclined..who else are you gonna ask about that kinda stuff?
...however, i can feel you feelinga little off about it...

 

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