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Wednesday, March 02, 2005

Did you miss me, bitches?

Loaf Originally uploaded by Siddity.

Loaf says, "Loaf is back for Bitch-in-Kitch III: Mo' Soup Fo' Yo Ass."

Sid: God, Loaf. You are such a thug. Will you please drop this gangsta act and just frigging cook already?

Loaf: Step off, bitch, 'cuz you look like you'd make a good-ass roast.

Sid: *snort* Are you threatening me, you little whitebread bitch? I'll slice your ass up.

Loaf: Oh, it's on, dough girl.

A scuffle ensues. Loaf is small, but tough like a week-old bialy, something Sid did not anticipate. She reaches to grab one stubby ankle but Loaf slices her viciously across the thumb pad with a dull bread knife, drawing five or six drops of blood. Sid, stunned and fearful of contracting a yeast infection from her starchy nemesis, draws back in horror. Loaf aims a flying kick for her tracheal area. Fortunately for Sid, Loaf is fresh from a hot session with some yellow bitch he calls Buttah, and the blow slides off with little damage. The deflected blow gives Sid just enough time to flip the lid off an old jam jar and spread a dollop on the counter, a dollop into which she pushes the wily Loaf face first.

Sid: What? What? Whatchu got to say now, bitch? Huh? Huh?

*unintelligble grumbles from the still-squished Loaf*

'Swhat I thought. Now get your little enriched ass back to cooking before I turn you into a project pizza. I got some ketchup and gubbmint cheese fo' yo' ass.

Apologies for the unseemly behavior of my mascot. He's totally unbalanced. I might have to put him on Doughzac. Ha!

8 Comments:

At 3/02/2005 04:29:00 AM, Anonymous negromatic said...

me thinks a ghetto-grilled cheese sammich at the bottom fo the oven would be a more suitable fate for this carb-loaded toast thug

 
At 3/02/2005 07:04:00 AM, Blogger Berry said...

ROFLMAO....get 'em Sid!

 
At 3/02/2005 08:08:00 AM, Blogger Will said...

I.am.done. LMAO

This was refreshing, though. Haven't seen a good bread-human fight since the early '80s. hehehe

 
At 3/02/2005 01:12:00 PM, Anonymous golden... said...

dead @ you little whitebread bitch?

oh and i canNOT give you a pic of da feets. ck ya gmail.

 
At 3/02/2005 04:33:00 PM, Blogger callalillies said...

Sid, Sid, Sid. You be crazy! Momma gone put you on Prozac and you go on and give Bitch in Kitch the Doughzac. You two desereve earch other.

lmbo!

 
At 3/02/2005 05:35:00 PM, Blogger Zantiferous3 said...

Girl you are a fool!!! OMG...

 
At 3/02/2005 06:01:00 PM, Blogger Jazz said...

SID, YOU ARE CRAZY....BUT WE LOVE YOU.

 
At 3/02/2005 11:24:00 PM, Blogger Mary said...

"Sid, stunned and fearful of contracting a yeast infection from her starchy nemesis, draws back in horror."

LOL...... omg. The mental image... I just can't take it. I'm still laughing...

 

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