Wednesday, June 29, 2005

Dear men,

What the shit is wrong with you people? Sorry, that started wrong. I've been reading that there Ross fella's blogs on rape, and anytime you get a bunch of guys talking about rape, usually somebody says something that pisses me off, or reminds me of something that happened that pissed me off in the past, and I get tetchy. Let's start again, yes? Dear men, What the motherfucking hell is wrong with you people? Oh fuck. That's even worse, isn't it? Dear men, Please explain to me how some of you can be so clever, and yet so very not. There is that whole rape thing, but that isn't even close to what's irking me, at the moment. It's just that, today, someone I have a modicum of respect for described a gal he fancied as attractive and pleasant. Pleasant. Motherfucking pleasant. Wha? Ficus plants are attractive and pleasant. Penny loafers? Attractive and pleasant. Boatneck sweaters, trellises, garden gnomes, dangly chandelier earrings, scrapbooks and tap-pants fresh from the freezer on a hot summer day? Attractive and pleasant. People--partners--should be more. Complex, nuanced, challenging. At least, that's what I always thought. Apparently, I'm just goddamned wrong. I know a lot of guys who are big personalities, who seek out attractive, pleasant girls. That shit just weirds me out. Girls like guys with big personalities. Guys...not so much. Eh? (It should come as no surprise, then, that the last time I had a date pursue me aggressively was the time I was so not into the guy that I said nothing and smiled pleasantly throughout the date, running through my grad-student budget in my head all the while. He wanted to make plans for the next date ASAP, and on the next date, a lunch date [I always give two chances--the first failure could be nerves] I said less, and he was even more gung-ho, and damn-near invited himself out with me and my crew for that night. There were no more dates after that.) Which is all to say, of course, that it is really fucking sad that I know so many dazzling women who go unappreciated, and that, to the average male, a girl like me is at her best when she's pretending to be a quiet, pleasant, attractive someone else. That is all.


At 6/29/2005 11:56:00 AM, Blogger Berry said...

OK, that is some scary shite right thur!

At 6/29/2005 01:26:00 PM, Blogger Sid said...

As an aside, I should note that I think I understand it, seeking out such a mate, and I fully respect anyone's right to do so. Shit, if a guy wants to mate with a ficus wearin penny loafers and tap pants, that is absolutely his right.

It's just frustrating as hell for the rest of us, nahmean?

At 6/29/2005 05:44:00 PM, Blogger K. said...

I gotta ask, are you sure "pleasant" is the word he really meant to say? Could he have meant "genial" or "good-natured" or something a little less ... boring? Because "pleasant" really does have a Donna Reed kind of connotation, doesn't it? But I have to admit, I actually wouldn't mind meeting a "pleasant" guy because I'm kind of grumpy and obnoxious to begin with and I need the balance.

At 6/29/2005 11:35:00 PM, Blogger Viv said...

I'm not sure how to interpret "pleasant." It's like how when you were in high school and you'd have to sign a yearbook for someone you didn't know very well and the best you could say was "nice." It's the hallmark of a person who doesn't know the other very well at all.

At 6/29/2005 11:48:00 PM, Blogger Sid said...

Yeah, probably. And I shouldn't hold good-naturedness against folks. I mean, not everyone can be as obnoxious as I am naturally, so, I could see that. I just found it funny that so many of the guys I've known have sought that out, while the girls seem to like the opposite in men.

I think I may be weird in that I personally would like to date abnormally funny, bright, gregarious people. Pleasant/good-naturedness isn't the highest on my list. I don't want to end up with someone outright mean, but a little snark is mandatory for me. But I come from a family in which we show our love through pointed jokes and trash talk, so that may have something to do with it. I need big personalities, not pleasant ones. So really, I'm just projecting or something.


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