Thursday, July 28, 2005

Because I can't get that hour and thirty-three minutes back.

I just watched this frenchy-franceypants movie about two people being selfish, irresponsible assholes. See, they were kids, and got along, and had a game where they dared each other stupid shit all the time. And then they grew up. And dared each other to do stupid shit all the time, but with more grown-up type situations. You know, like marriage, university, standing on railroad tracks in formalwear blindfolded. Neat huh? Whimsical frenchy franceypants-type stuff. Whee! Look at the crazy dream sequences utilizing construction-paper and cardboard props that manage to incorporate parents and authority figures and stupid prank-playing as metaphors for God and Eden and temptation! Wheeee! Look at the light and color and complex emotional game-playing, wheee! Are they friends? Soulmates? Destined or star-crossed? Will they really stay in that pit while that truck pours concrete over them? Wheeeee! Or should I be saying, ouiiiiiiiiii? Whatever, they were selfish, irresponsible assholes who crushed the hearts of those around them because they couldn't get their shit together enough in twenty years to go, "You know what? Maybe we should screw. And then get married. To each other. Thereby avoiding crushing the hearts of our spouses and the children we'll have with those other people. " Funny thing is, it was supposed to be about love. Why do people always use the idea of love and fate as excuses to be fucking assholes? Goddamn Frenchies. I actually quite like the French.


At 7/28/2005 11:14:00 PM, Blogger Viv said...

This is why European foreign films scare the hell out of me. Some day I'll tell you the story about the Quebec foreign film I saw 30 seconds of that scarred me for life.

At 7/29/2005 04:45:00 AM, Blogger chantedx said...

because they refuse to see what it really is!!!???

At 7/29/2005 09:37:00 AM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

The French suck. K. And the title doesn't match in english to the french title, which is like Jokes of the Children or something gay like that. City of Lost Children is the only good french movie. Rob

At 7/29/2005 01:43:00 PM, Blogger divine m said...

I wrongfully rented and watched that pup some time ago. Pissed me all the way off. Probably because those frenchies are right about most things: red meat, wine with breakfast, full fat everything . . . and love. Dammit. Love is an ugly bitch that won't come home. It's true.

I fucking love French films.

But not that one.

At 7/29/2005 05:56:00 PM, Blogger Ross A Lincoln said...

I unluckily saw it in the theater. And you're right, this film sucks so much they had to create a brand new category of suck to accomodate it. From the useless wedding humiliation to the stupid concrete scene, nothing in this movie makes a lick of sense. I did think that it started out well enough. In fact, it's the point where they meet as adults when the movie commits itself to full on skullfuckery.

Anyway, this kind of movie isn't the biggest threat posed by French cinema. The real problem is an endless supply of films about fatty, middle aged dorks who magically convince nubile 19 year olds to fuck them raw dawg. Movies with lame titles like "erotic Autum heart", or "The Blue Balls of Paris". UGH!


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