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Sunday, July 30, 2006

The 80s are coming back.

But, if we all band together, we can turn back the tide of evil.

Simply pledge the following (left hand raised and right hand over heart):

I, ____, do hereby pledge never to wear a bubble or poof skirt. Ever. Ever. Everinmylife. I furthermore promise not to make the foolhardy mistake of believing leggings hide a multitude of sins. I swear to avoid any and all denim trimmed in lace. In fact, the only lace I currently believe in is Battenburg, and I swear that that is only suitable for formal kitchen linens, which I will only come by inadvertently, as my sweet-but-dotty Aunt Eva insists on making it part of my bridal trousseau. I pledge that, having just figured out how to really artfully clash bag and shoes, I will not return to to matching the two, and I certainly won't do it with bows or clips on either. I will shoot the Bedazzled on sight. I will continue to pluck, wax or thread my brows into demure arcs of ladylike submission. Banana clips are not now, never have been, and never will be an acceptable solution to any hair dilemma. Shoulderpads...just, no.

13 Comments:

At 7/30/2006 11:29:00 PM, Blogger Amanda said...

One nation, sans spandex, with liberty and lace-less denim skirts for all.

 
At 7/31/2006 12:25:00 AM, Blogger FUNKYBROWNCHICK said...

Oooh, shoulder pads. Just thinking of them brings on one of those high-pressure-behind-the-eyes headaches.

 
At 7/31/2006 10:11:00 AM, Blogger Baby Girl said...

I went shopping the other say and was looking through the skirts. When i saw all the pouf/bubble skirts I almost passed out.

I'll go back to cross colours and Kani before I go back to neons and acid wash.

 
At 7/31/2006 11:11:00 AM, Blogger girlhattan said...

ok ok ok but some of the 80s stuff i like!!!!

stripes, tight jeans (on boys), studded belts, vibrant colors.... just saying. it's not all bad!

 
At 7/31/2006 03:38:00 PM, Blogger QuietlyGoingMad said...

and absolutely none of those clothes that change colors with the heat of your body---Hypercolors was the name I believe.

Unfortunately we can't say no legwarmers because they have made a comeback...I'm just waiting for the parachute pants.

 
At 7/31/2006 10:58:00 PM, Blogger Mary said...

All I remember while reading this post is the tight, tiny lycra mini-skirts and big, huge Generra sweaters. Please, say it isn't so. I thought the 80's was going to be one decade that we wouldn't revisit. I weep. WEEP!

 
At 8/01/2006 12:27:00 PM, Blogger Nerd Girl said...

I pledge! Really, I do - see, I stuck my finger and everything to make it legit.

I swear, the "fashion" industry continues to amaze me. That stuff did not look good in the 80's and it doesn't look good now. Period.

Ladies of the world, unite! Buy clothes that look good on you and leave the (ugly) trendy stuff on the rack where it belongs.

Having said all that, my Prince/Jermaine Stewart bangs circa 1988 really were fierce :)

 
At 8/01/2006 12:51:00 PM, Blogger The Soviet said...

i suppose i didn't realize while i was growing up just how ugly shoulder pads were until i actually looked at a woman that way. i mean, why would you want your shoulders to look so boxy, wide and janet reno-esque? not cute.

i had a friend in new orleans who wears banana clips TO THIS DAY. but somehow it works for her. granted, i never said anything because she could hand me my ass on a skewer, but yeah.

 
At 8/01/2006 05:29:00 PM, Blogger Viv said...

I take this pledge. Unlike my friend who calls the 80's the height of fashion. But he's color blind also, so I don't take his fashion advice seriously.

 
At 8/02/2006 11:13:00 AM, Blogger Amanda said...

Well, let's just all look at the bright side. At least we're not going through an 1880's revival. Forget leggings. Imagine bustles as the hot item of the season. Now, THAT would be obnoxious.

 
At 8/02/2006 11:35:00 AM, Blogger Baby Girl said...

Let's pray that the jheri curlnever comes back.

 
At 8/03/2006 04:33:00 PM, Blogger Berry said...

I do solemely swear...amen.

 
At 8/04/2006 05:17:00 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

i swear, sid. never again.

the fashionistas must have run out of ideas, so they banded together to recreate hideosity.

 

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