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Tuesday, November 01, 2005

Assorted experiences.

Today, I'm standing in line at Fairway, second-to-last. The store is a madhouse, as usual, so the lines extend back into the narrow aisles, and people with the baskets and children and carts fight to wend their way through the crowd to a necessary can of stew, packet of pasta, box of Frooty-Os, whatever. Shopper number third-to-last-in-line is grudgingly allowing shoppers to cut her off from the line area as they pass through with their carts. A stout, older woman pushes up and stops with a stroller just in front of her. "The line starts back there," shopper third-to-last tells stroller-lady, gesturing behind me and the folks who've assembled behind us. "I stay here," says stroller lady in an ambiguous Eastern European accent. Hearing the accent, third-to-last thinks the woman maybe misunderstands the situation, and attempts to explain again. "No, the line, it starts back there." "I stay here," says stroller lady again. "She is cryink and I stay here," she says, pointing to the silent, dry-eyed toddler in the stroller. Finished with her side of the argument, she then proceeds to walk to the next open register. Third-to-last snorts in disbelief. I try to console her, but really I am thinking the following: Brilliant. Sin boldly. Bad accent + child + unflappability = perfect line-cutting maneuver. Must use when have children. I'm thinking I'll try the Rosario Braziyorican accent. See if anybody buys it, anywhere. Maybe in the Midwest? One of the I states? Iowa, Idaho, Indiana? *** Silk soymilk hot cocoa with Splenda: not so delicious as it sounds, and trust, I know exactly how delicious it sounds (not very). Also, if left to sit while you blog, it turns quickly to pudding. *** Am finally mastering this whole thrift thing. Talked self down from late night sushi ordering binge in favor of homemade asparagus soup and roasted chicken (financial and caloric thrift). Actually transferred estimated delivery order amount to savings account. Very proud of self. *** More friends coming to town I'll likely rarely see. The sad thing? They're actually staying in my place. Having friends near-at-hand and missing them hurts so much more than having them far away, it really does. Which means I will spend the next two weeks blogging about my melancholia. Toow.

6 Comments:

At 11/01/2005 06:38:00 AM, Blogger FUNKYBROWNCHICK said...

I sooooo need to get better at "mastering the whole thrift thing" too!

 
At 11/01/2005 08:09:00 AM, Blogger divine m said...

I like how "toow" means the opposite of "Woot!" You are so damn keyoot. And I hope you are not including me in that category of friends coming to stay but you won't see 'em. That ain't gonna be the case. Quit feeling sorry for yourself and put on your ass-kicking boots. (Always makes me feel less sorry for myself. . . . )

 
At 11/01/2005 08:33:00 AM, Blogger rcknrobin said...

thrift is definitely not my middle name...i think mr. west got it right with "single black female, addicted the retail.." although i think i'm in rehab now!

 
At 11/01/2005 10:31:00 AM, Blogger K. said...

"toow" is quote brilliant. Perhaps you could channel your melancholy into NaNo?

When I have the craving, but not the $ for restaurant sushi, I treat myself to the sushi at Trader Joe's which is actually pretty decent.

 
At 11/01/2005 01:57:00 PM, Blogger Daisy Mae said...

That whole checkout line thing definately works in the Midwest or at leats here in central Indiana. My recommendation is to use a thick german accent and have a crazy look in your eyes.

This also works when you are in the quick-check line and have 30 items instead of the required 12 or less items.

In case it doesn't work just put a box of kotex in your basket and look bitchy!

 
At 11/03/2005 12:49:00 PM, Blogger chi said...

you like silk? i can't stand the taste; too soynut... you should try 8th continent... that's the best soy milk ever... EVER!! (just take my word for it...) and use the original, not vanilla... unless you like vanilla.. i don't... ehh...

 

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