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Tuesday, March 15, 2005

Little rant. Just a little, teeny, tiny, itty-bitty rant. Swear.

Listen, my fellow gym-goers. I understand you need to store stuff. Hell, I often find myself stashing things like coat and bag into one of the handy lockers our gym provides in the changing room. And what a good idea those are! Lockers, free to all! Keep your things safely and securely stored while you work out! But, you know, the key to this system--no pun intended--is a lock. You see, a lock not only keeps your possessions safe from unscrupulous types who'd otherwise pilfer or violate your things, no; a lock also acts as an indicator to all comers that the locker they are looking at is taken. Occupado. Verboten. And that's a good thing. See, when I go to the gym and eyeball the changing area, I scan, quickly, for a locker in which to keep my things. A locker without a lock. But sometimes, there are lots of people at the gym, and free lockers are scarce. Then I'll spot one that is lock-free--joy! A locker for me to use for the next hour! But when I open it, sometimes I find other people's stuff in it. Even though there was no lock or outward indication of the fact that it was taken. This has two effects: 1. I feel dirty and ashamed, as though I've just walked in on someone in an unlocked bathroom. (And speaking of that--if you are in a public bathroom and I knock, let me the fuck know there is someone in there, because if you ignore me and remain silent, I will assume the bathroom is empty, okay? Then I will try to enter, and god help us both if you've also forgotten to lock the door. So don't have the goddamned nerve to look pissy when you come out as though I tried to invade your privacy, bitches.) Because, you know, I'm a highly empathetic person and I feel embarrassed on behalf of the exposed. 2. I get really, really pissed off. Getting a lock is not a challenge akin to tracking down the Holy fucking Grail. There is a Duane Reade on every block in this town. Duane Reades sell locks. And even in this city, you can get a lock for, like, three dollars. I've forgotten my lock before. Do you know what I did? I went next door to Duane Reade to buy one. Not complicated. And yet, almost every time I go to the gym, I find unlocked lockers with shoes and bags and other things inside. Every time I open a locker that is not properly secured, I swear, I'm tempted to remove the contents and hide them or throw them on the floor just to teach the locker offender a lesson, dammit. But I don't, because I try to be a considerate person. It's almost as irritating a leaving your shit in a laundromat dryer for four hours on a Sunday afternoon, while you run errands. Hello! Other people have shit to do here, and we're all following the rules! Anyway, that's all. Just try to follow the rules of locker usage. It's common courtesy. Bitches. Oh, and check out that Andres dude linked under "Loves." Is it just me, or is he hilarious?

4 Comments:

At 3/16/2005 02:41:00 AM, Anonymous negromatic said...

well, you could go the cruel route. i say get a few of those plastic snap ties (similar to the ones police use for cheap hancuffs) and snap their locker shut. those things are worse than locks.

 
At 3/16/2005 02:32:00 PM, Blogger notyouraverage.... said...

as a long time gym goer, i never looked at it like that. i do use a lock, but in the past i didn't always. never had anything worth stealing with me. but it is annoying, to start searching, and pulling open door after door, of unlocked lockers, only to find them full.

 
At 3/16/2005 02:40:00 PM, Anonymous golden said...

that is the most friggin annoying shit ever! ESPECIALLY when you are in a rush to get to a class and here you go opening 10lockers w/NO LOCKS but with CLOTHES IN THEM! What da?!?!?!?!

 
At 3/17/2005 09:25:00 AM, Blogger Baby Girl said...

How funny is it that I was about to post about the same thing! It must've been an Aquarius gripe this week. I feel the same way. I want to take the offender's things and toss them in the steam room, or hide them. Not only is the lock a means of securing your belongings, but it lets others know that the locker is taken. There's nothing worse then opening locker after locker and someone's crap is shoved in there. Personally, I could never just shove my things in a locker sans lock.

 

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