Tuesday, February 28, 2006

Deep down, I really just want to be Angelina Jolie.

Which is perhaps why I almost took a lover today. *Snort. I can't believe I just used that phrase.* I considered it, very seriously, then called it off at the last minute (okay, hourish) because the situation really just wasn't right. Or wise. Or something. But I'm still considering the arrangement, in general. And it looks rather appealing. Show of hands, ladies: Who's (willing to admit to having) taken a lover? (Feel free to anonymize!) How'd you meet? In the introduction sense as well as the rendez-vous sense. How'd that pan out for you? Okay? Went all to shit? Any advice? Happy...whatever.

I saw Night Watch yesterday.

It is not in fact a horror film. It certainly isn't frightening. Even the idea of Armageddon has been scrubbed nearly clean of religion or faith, and therefore, at least to my little pre-programmed mind, any real sense of meaning or urgency. It is interesting, though. It's a good-versus-evil, vampire/shapeshifter/witch and warlock film that isn't really all about CGI and gore "let's see how creatively we can kill onscreen." That's refreshing. I especially appreciate the fact that the evil doesn't turn up bearing venom-dripping fangs and spiral horns. The dark Others are your local butcher, hairdresser, pop star. On the other hand, the film took itself far too seriously and the progression of the two story arcs--the great Other who is born stronger than all Others and will have to choose which side to join (thus tipping the balance between dark and light), the cursed virgin whose appearance heralds the end times--was perfectly predictable after the first 20-30 minutes. The virgin storyline was particularly disappointing,. Eh, it's the first part of a trilogy. I imagine I'd need to see it all three films to grasp its fabulousness. I'd also like to read the Sergei Lukyanenko novels. Something tells me the bits snipped for film make all the difference to the story. Not a bad film, though. I don't regret having spent money on it, and that ain't nothin'.

Monday, February 27, 2006


To all members of party staff and crew: Going forward, Sid will be celebrating her half-birthday as well as her actual birthday. Clear August 3 on your calendars. It's a Thursday this year. Weekends begin on Thursday. Or they will, anyway. That is all. cc:internetswhores


It's mine now. Because "private" sale + discount code for additional savings = 69% off = Mine. Also, mommy just bought herself one of these pretties at Ricky's NYC, for the lowlow price of $20, and is right this very moment looking like she just left Dekar's or Magid's chair, all on her own steam. Or tourmaline ionic heat straightening, whatever. Loves it. Also, anybody been here? Work is finally having their holiday office party (yeah, in March) this week and I'm not sure I should go. Hmm. Happy 23-days-'til-spring Day

Saturday, February 25, 2006

You know you are horribly, savagely prementsrually affected when...

You find yourself crying over the tragic circumstances of The Eye 2. The Eye 2, starring Shu Qi, of Transporter fame. "He was a bastard, but he was my father," Shu Qi. Almost worse than crying over a commercial or a Hallmark card, it is. It really is sad though. 'Cause see, Shu Qi tries to commit suicide over a broken relationship and fails, but then she starts seeing dead people, right. And then she finds out she's preggers. And then she finds out that all the pregnant ladies in the world have dead people following them around waiting to be reincarnated in the babies. And then she founds out the dead person following her around is her ex-boyfriend's (and baby-daddy's 's) wife! Because see, he was married! And his wife commited suicide because he was having an affair with Shu Qi! And now she's coming back as their bastard love-child! But also, see, even though Shu Qi's spiritual bodhi guy tells her all this death and reincarnation stuff is natural, she just can't accept it and move on, no. She has to try to stop the dead people from climbing into the pregnant ladies wombs! And when that fails, she's all, "I am so not having my bastard ex-boyfriend's wife climbing up into my piece." So she decides to kill herself. And dude, she tries really hard. She jumps off a building--twice, damnit, twice; actually hauls her broken, bloody ass back up several flights of hospital stairs to try again when she fails the first time--before her dead lady is all, "Bitch, cut that shit out. I'd really rather not wander around anymore being pissed at you and my bitch-ass husband. And being dead, you know. That shit blows." And then somebody at the hosiptal finally realizes a pregnant looney is missing and, I dunno, follows the trail of blood and bone shards? And they scrape Shu Qi off the sidewalk and deliver the baby. The thing that kills me is that at end of the movie, crazy Shu Qi--threw-herself-off-a-building-twice-to-bring-her-pregnant-suicide-attempt-grand-total-up-to-three Shu Qi, "I-see-dead-people" Shu Qi--gets to keep the baby. That's just some bullshit right there. Um. You see now why I have to watch movies alone? Anyway, the movie wasn't all that bad. Today's my day off. I think I'm going to see NightWatch.

Friday, February 24, 2006

So, let me get this straight.

You are kinda famous because you get paid to pretend to be someone who is famous, for no good reason, in the first place? Hm. That's...not that hot, actually.

Thursday, February 23, 2006

Um, yeah. So, that was weird.

Does anyone else notice their nose get visibly pointier after a workout? Anyone? Anyone? I can't be the only person who experiences this, uh, side-effect. Also, just so you know, I just ate a half of a jar of Newman's Own Sockarooni tomato sauce, all by itself, right out of the jar. I used to do that all the time in London, but I thought it was because I had a vitamin deficiency over there, given I was eating cheap crap food most of the time. There's no good reason for that craving here. Hmph. It was delicious, though. Mmm, sauce. I'd say more interesting things but hell, I got nuthin'. I'm not even angry about anything. Nada. Naught. That reminds me of nougat. Mmm, I would like to have some nougat. *walking away, whistling*

Tuesday, February 21, 2006

I am still saving money for my move.

But can I just say that this impending change of life (leaving job, changing towns) has me so freaked about my impending poverty that I am actually spending money on (or at least thinking really hard about) spending money on all kinds of things before I go? In the last few weeks I have convinced myself I needed (and then blessedly talked myself out of) a new digital camera, a new iPod, new travel bags, a gorgeous black, embroidered FCUK skirt, a new set of Henckels knives, and more. I did not, however, manage to talk myself out of the out-of-season asparagus, single malt, imported cheese, none-too-cheap lingerie detergent.... All because I know that once I leave here, I likely won't be able to throw money around again. Ever. Okay, at least not for the next ten years. Am I a freak or what?

A few of my (new) favorite things.

1. Intimacy. Go, get fitted. Instant mammary makeover. 2. Tocca Laundry Delicate wash in Cleopatra. If you'd just paid $65 for a bra, you'd want to take very, very good care of it, too. 3. St. Patrick's Day. Look at that, I've run out of steam already. Oh, well.

Monday, February 20, 2006

There are two ways to make the meth.

The first involves cooking up cold meds and cleaning agents. The second involves feeding hot dogs, cake and ice cream in rapid succession to 8-and-unders and then taking them out in public. Presto. Instant mini tweakers.

Thursday, February 16, 2006

Dear Myspace: I want 2 break up with U.

Choice exerpt from a message I just received from some random guy in New Jersey: "I also enjoy travel, experiencing different geographies and people. My eyes are brown, and I have fair white skin. I do not smoke. I do drink on social occasions.i graduated from OXFORD UNIVERSITY AT UK... Bcos i was brough up by mom there...... well Concerning sexuality, I am not a promiscuous woman. My desire is to be sexually faithful to the woman I marry. If two people love each other and will communicate what they like and do not like about their partner's sexual behavior, I believe many problems can be resolved. Moreover, I am currently working on my own cos i had to try something else after i lost almost all i had to my last relationship i just got into the business of collecting is a nice thing to do..i buy and sell antiques and well i am on a trip to to get some antiques in WEST AFRICA from here aint fun anyway but i will be back home soon(MoodyAL)to the United States very soon, hope to hear back from you Remember, I need real love..i dont play games and i aint ready to be played...." Apparently, I look like I've been hit with the stupid stick. You graduated Oxford, did you? They don't care much for punctuation over there, eh? Big fans of capitalizing (excuse me, capitalising) random words? Yeah, not getting a response, this one. The sad thing is this is only a third of the message. The rest is just as unbelievable. Even better? It's a copy of some other numbuts' form letter. He even left the other jerk's location and gender in. I'm still trying to figure out what the scam is. Perhaps lending him money to start an antique business? Oh no, wait, or is it paying to fly him to Oxford to visit his sick mother? *eyeroll* I made soup. It is delicious. Nothing new around these parts. Happy Thursday!

Wednesday, February 15, 2006


You know, all I wanted was an appointment. But this doctor is hard as hell to get hold of! I've called twice in the last week and didn't even get past her answering service. Damnit. I have FSA money that needs to be spent by March 15, people. I need to get my dermatological expenditure on! *hissy fit* Okay, I'm calm. Now. Anybody got a hook-up? Current patient? Retinol-deliveryman? Eh? Because she WILL be my dermatologist! Er. Sigh. Okay, or does anybody have a beloved derm in the area they'd be willing to share?


I've been tagged by the lovely and talented Ms. Danyel! Yay, an excuse to do a meme! I take full responsibility for the details contained herein. Four jobs I've had: 1. North American Independent Library Sales Manager, Little British Publishing Company You've Probably Never Heard Of. It was my first job out of undergrad. I quit after 3 months. 2. Assistant to Commencement Director, Harvard (Commencement 2001). Temp job I loved the most. My boss was just the sweetest woman in the history of the world. 3. Science/English instructor at an Upward Bound summer program. 4. Editorial intern at Transition. No money, but I got grad credit. And I was there many and several ('kay, like two or three) days a week. I think that should count for something. Four DVD's I can keep watching: 1. Kuch Kuch Hota Hai 2. Lock, Stock and Two Smoking Barrells 3. The Transporter (because "I Got Love for my Homies," and by "homies" I mean Jason Statham's pecs.) 4. Practical Magic. Not a word. Let me have this one little bit of sap, okay? Thanks. Four places I wish I had (or intend to) live(d): 1. Japan. During high school I was accepted into an intensive Japanese laguage/cultural study and exchange program that my mother and my home high school later vetoed. Years earlier, my mother had also been accepted to a program when she was in college that would have taken us both there for her to study, but then it turned out she was a year or something too old to be eligible. When I think of how fluent we could be now...bygones. 2. Wellesley, MA. If I had accepted a place at the local ladies' college instead of my (don't get me wrong, wonderful fabulous) alma mater, I would have no student loan debt right now. None. Jeebus. The places I could go without that $40K hanging over my head... boggles the mind, it does. An extra $520 in my pocket every month. Goddamn. 3. Scotland. I've decided I will complete my second book there. Now, if only I could finish my damn first, lol. That'll be in Chicago. 4. London, again. I'll be going back, and next time, I won't be living above the Kilburn Pizza Go-Go. Not that there's anything wrong with that place. Lord knows my roomies and I ate there often enough. Four TV shows I watch: 1. Lost 2. Rome 3. Late Night with Conan O' Brien 4. Law and Order SVU (because whenever I go home to see the 'rents, there is always a marathon on USA.) 5. Dr. 90210. I seem to catch this late at night fairly often. Yeah, I put down five. What? Four places I've traveled: 1. the UK (with stays in London, Nottingham, Blackburn and Dublin.) 2. Paris (the first time I hated it; the second time I loved it. This was when I first realized that a place is as much if not more about the company you keep than any wonderful historical and cultural treasures it might possess.) 3. Chicago, Chicago, da-duh-duh-duh-duuuuhh! 4. TJ. Dude. Just, dude. Listen, it's the kinda place where they sell individual smokes in vending machines and bartenders pour booze directly down your throat, then sling you over their shoulders and spin you around, for the amusement of your evil friends. Hey, but it is where I got my first impromptu vacation spanking! Granted, I was really pissed off at the time... Four websites I visit daily: 1. Gmail 2. IMDB (at least it seems that way) 3., via Gmail 4. Anybody who my blogroll indicates has updated. Hee! Four foods I love: 1. Spicy tuna maki, Ruby Foo's and lately Raku II 2. Big Nick's bacon cheeseburgers. Haven't had one in over a month. 3. Crif Dogs' spicy redneck dog, or any restaurant's foie gras. I've had them the same number of times in the past year--twice for each--and damn if I don't love 'em, and know I can't have either any more often than that. 4. My specialty soups. Sorry, but my Scottish stilton and curried pumpkin soups are the shiznitski. Four early musical influences: 1. Prince. I will always love that teeny, tiny little man 2. Guns N' Roses. *shrug* Appetite is one of my favorite albums ever, and makes for one damn fine cardio workout soundtrack. 3. Sade. One of my earliest memories is chilling with my mom in her Mattapan studio apartment, listening to Sade. Listen, I had to go back to my father's and step-mother's place and listen to the got-danged Winans on repeat, okay? Sade was really different, lol. Prolly why I'se a heathen today. (I can't hate on all their musical tastes, though. They are the reason I've got an Al Jarreau Best Of in my collection. Damn, come to think of it, if it wasn't for them, I wouldn't be bourgie black at all. I'd just be bourgie.) 4. Er, um, hmmm. Hell, come back later, I'll come up with something. Four bloggers I'm nudging: 1. Divine M (who likely will never have enough free time to complete this meme) 2. Miss James 3. Quietly 4. Monsieur Soviet and anybody else who hasn't done it yet, but wants to. Heh. Last note: I'll be working for two of the three days this is going on, but if you aren't, maybe you should swing by this film festival of shorts by women of color, running this Friday through Sunday. Thanks to Golden and Ms. Berry for the heads-up! Now. I'm off to get my grubby little mitts on some discount chocolate hearts ;-P

Tuesday, February 14, 2006

Still workin'.

But later? Happy Valentine's Day to me! And you, too.

Oh, hell.

It's already Valentine's Day again. Kinda snuck up on me, it did. Damn, I hate when that happens. Maybe I'll get myself some flowers. Maybe I'll walk around with big red lips in honor of the occasion. Maybe I'll pretend I don't know what day it is at all. Happy happy. Enjoy your plans, whatever they may be. ;-p

Sunday, February 12, 2006

Remember that Eddie Murphy skit where he talks about the quiet girls?

When he says the reason they are so quiet is because they are afraid of the skeletons in their closet or something, that when they open their mouths, a bone might fly out? At least I think that was Mr. I Heart Trannies. (Don't get me wrong, now; I heart trannies, too. But I don't go around pretending I don't by gay bashing in my stand-up. Er, I digress.) Anyway, I'm screwing around on Flickr (there was a snowstorm, you know. Wasting time this way is totally valid) and I run across some random photoset by some Drexel students. This set features a "Lingerie Party." Nothing totally porned-out, just some things most of those girls wouldn't want their parents, children or future employers to see. At first, I thought to myself, "My God, what were they thinking? They are so going to regret..." My next thought? *heart racing* "Thank sweet-fucking-Christ Flickr didn't exist when I was in college." Epiphany: I am not some sweet girl whose sweetness is being eroded by life in the big city! (Stop snickering. I really felt this way for a while. Okay, go ahead and snicker. It is pretty funny.) I don't keep running into Trouble. I think I am Trouble! All on my own! You know, in a good way. Whew. That's a load off. Now I can stop trying to do the nicest, rightest thing and start doing the shit I feel like doing, anyway. Get your mind out of the gutter. I meant things like cursing out flight attendants who pinch me when I wait in line for the airplane loo. That is all.

True, true.

Hilarious. Glad to know I'm not the only one sitting on a goddamn stack of irritating, unopened credit card offers. Hmph. Also? Many thanks, Miss James. This was the coolest birthday present! Joyjoyjoy, squeeeeeeee! Thanks also to Shasta for getting me the best pet a technophile New Yorker(ish) could have. I have named her Miss Bitchiko Karaoke. :D I feel so loved!

MySpace obsessed.

Okay. I really didn't need another layer of Internets mania in my life. And yet... Slash is on fucking MySpace, and if he doesn't add me as his friend I might have to hurt myself severely. Also? I have tracked the lives of my high school and college classmates and realized I am not as hopelessly floundering as I believed. This is neither good nor bad; this is perspective. I actually wouldn't even mind chatting with some of the people I found. On the other hand, I keep getting messages from men who really are too young to even think about emailing me, guys who think throwing an uppercase letter into their profile name is cute...whatevs. It is all completely fascinating. Of course, my dream is to once again find The Most Beautiful Boy in the World, who was in a bio class of mine in college. I don't care if he's taken, by a woman or man. He was so fucking magnificently gorgeous, he really should be shared with the world. Random aside: I saw Something New on Friday. It actually wasn't nearly as bad as I anticipated, and this is coming from someone who generally hates romantic comedies. The subject was treated much less tritely than I expected. The audience was surprisingly mixed--everyone from the black female/white male young professional couple to the middle-aged white married UWS unit was there. And hell, even I learned a few things about my peoples. I was actually almost impressed by the film. Although, for my own reference, I'd like a virtual show of hands: How many of you have been in interracial relationships? How many found your partner's understanding (or lack thereof) of the black plight to be a huge motherforking deal? Okay, who has heard of, let alone used, the phrase "the Black Tax" ? More than once in the last 90 days? Now, ladies, this is for you (actually, and gents if you are so inclined): Simon Baker wants to hit. Who says no? Happy Sunday ;-P

Friday, February 10, 2006

Happy Friday.

Chicago is so rock. I mean, if you're not used to that sort of thing. Linkies=entertainments, pretties. Hope your weekends are very, very debauched. Later, maybe even today, I'll break out the sad story that is my sex life. Then again, maybe not.

Thursday, February 09, 2006

Damn the Internets!

MySpace is eeeeeevil. It's so much worse than being able to Google people. In the last 20 minutes I have found a half dozen people I used to know, including the guy I lost my virginity to (he's an account exec in Cali) and my high school crush (married and living oh, an hour from here). Yipes. Just, yipes. Holy shit. I hope he never Googles himself! Ah, fuck it. Who cares? Goddamn Mongolians. I mean Internets!

Until I'm ready to write about Chicago.

You are a City Girl!
Whether you live in the city or not, you've got the heart of a city girl. You're up on the latest trends - what's hot in music, food, and fashion. And you love to be on the go. Your perfect day is filled with tons of fun. Your perfect guy is a city guy, so head to LA, NYC, Sydney, or London to find him!
What Kind of Girl Are You?
You Are a Passionate Kisser
You are the most likely type to kiss a sexy stranger Your kissing style is unpredictable and free spirited You could kiss anyone at a drop of a hat It's all about where your passion leads you
What's Your Kissing Style?
Me? Citified and recklessly snogging strangers? Nah.

Tuesday, February 07, 2006


I'm getting around to posting over at SOS, BNC. 'Til I do, many thanks to M, Shasta, Keidra, CG and Mr. C for a great time. Can't wait to do it again! And for the ladies I didn't get to see--Quietly, Khandi and Ding--I hope I get to see you next time I'm in town! Mr. C, you're birthday is next. I'll start saving now, shall I?

Monday, February 06, 2006

Go big or go home.

Or something. My flight is delayed, so i can't go home just yet. That leaves big. Most of this trip was really good. Most of this trip, I was really good. But this is me we're talking about. Of course I couldn't leave without some spectacular drama. History repeats; brawlin', drinkin' and whorin' accomplished, much to my shame. But hey, if you're gonna make the same bullshit mistakes, you might as well do 'em better the next time around. Excuse me. I have to put myself in a good, long time-out so I can think about what I've done.

Saturday, February 04, 2006

Drive-by blogging.

Alinea was great. Base Bar at the Hard Rock was not.

Thursday, February 02, 2006

I believe in Magid

Magid is magic. Magid is the owner of Days Hair Salon (343 S. Dearborn). Magid took my frizzy, curly, rained-on hair and spun it into silk, with the help of some junior stylists and a bunch of earthy Aveda products. Loves him. The man does hair with an almost romantic attention to every strand. And he wore a fun shirt. He and his team gave each woman who walked in there fabulous hair. And they do all textures. I'll be seeing him whenever I hit town. Later, I had dinner with Shasta and her girl Unique at P F Chang's. Yum. Forgot my leftovers on the table. Boo. Oh well. Always tomorrow. I can always hit the minibar. It's almost my birthday. I can do whatever I want.

Wednesday, February 01, 2006

And I Ran, I ran so far away...

Ah, Chicago. Land of close streets with elevated trains. I'm back. Presently, I'm waiting to get my hair done. More on that later. My flight was great. It landed safely, which is really all I ask. The scotch helped me not turn around and, er, discipline the little monkey beast child who kicked the back of my seat and whined the whole trip. It's all good. Hey, guess who got pinched by her flight attendant guy. Give up? Me. Of course. Clearly I am wearing a sign that instructs men to do this. I swear to you all I said to the man the whole flight was "can i have a scotch?"

Bye-bye, Lovelies!

I'm off to Chicago again, so blogging will likely be reduced. Then again, I just hooked Angus up with Internets, so perhaps it will be real time updates! (Angus is costing me an arm and a leg--my monthly service bill is up to $75 base at this point. Oh, well. Worth it.) Eh. Have a good week, y'alls! When I return, I'll be older, wiser and very likely hung-over! Bye-byes!